I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
