You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
