I'm going to jail i love you
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
