My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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