she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?