I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me