You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
