Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
These tits shall not be calmed
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
