she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
