I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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