If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
