Sponge bath it is.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
