dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
