i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
