She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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