yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
