if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Is it because I queefed?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
