i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
