i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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