We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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