If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize