she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
