I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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