i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
