Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i've created a new STD.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
