why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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