break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
