I queefed so loud it echoed.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
