is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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