The best revenge is premature balding
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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