Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
