people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
