You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
