Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
