Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
