Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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