I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
