My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
