Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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