i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
