I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize