His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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