yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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