Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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