I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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