good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
