They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
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I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
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Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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