dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
