Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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