i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
