Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
