Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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