She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
