You really coming over, don't trick.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
