come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
