Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize