i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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