You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize